I know what you’re thinking. What doctor has time for self-care? We spend our days giving our all to our patients, and then go home to give ourselves completely to our families. We are told that we can only care for others when we care for ourselves. But there just isn’t any time or energy left at the end of the day. We need to work on making self-care a part of our regular routine throughout the day so it starts to feel natural to us and not like a ton of work. I think it’s possible, and I definitely think it’s worth it.
I think the first thing we all need to work on is our sleep. Who can honestly say that they are getting enough, or even good quality, sleep? It’s often the thing that we sacrifice when it feels like there isn’t enough time in the day, but it’s vitally important. Not getting enough sleep negatively impacts brain function, resulting in poor memory, decreased focus and impaired decision making. Sleep is closely tied to mood, and disordered sleep can be a symptom of depression. Even if you can’t get the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep per night, there are things you can do to improve the quality of the sleep that you do get.
Routines are important to us. It’s a good idea to try and go to sleep at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. You also need to practice good sleep hygiene. Do things in the evening to signal to your brain that it is time to start shutting down. Create a nighttime routine that you do in the same order every night. Spend some time reading, put on your pajamas, wash your face, brush your teeth. Cut out screens (and yes this includes your phone!) at least 30 minutes before going to bed (an hour is better, but I get it). Keep the temperature in your bedroom cool, and make sure it is dark and quiet. And only use your bed for sleep – no reading, watching tv or working in bed or even in your bedroom if you can avoid it.
If you find yourself awake in the middle of the night, give yourself around 20 minutes to try and fall asleep again. If you can’t, get out of bed and go to another room in the house where you can do something quiet. Try reading, knitting, or even having a small snack if you find yourself truly hungry. But no screens! The blue light that screens emit stimulates your brain and keeps you awake. Once you start to feel sleepy again, go to the bathroom and then get back into bed. You can repeat this until you actually fall asleep. It may sound silly, but you want your brain to associate your bed with sleeping, not lying awake all night. This is why you get out of bed if you truly can’t sleep.
The next thing that we all know we should do more of is exercise. I’m with you, who really has time for this? And doesn’t being on your feet all day count? Yes, it definitely does. But fitting some aerobic exercise into our day can have great effects on our health and our mood. And it doesn’t have to be a long endeavor either. Even modest amounts of exercise can improve memory and focus, give you more energy, and help improve your sleep. Exercise also releases endorphins, which improve your mood in the short term and may even alter neurotransmitter release in the long term. It reduces stress and anxiety and is protective against relapsing from depression.
We need to start scheduling exercise into our day the way we schedule work or our kids’ activities. You can try working out first thing in the morning before your kids wake up. Or make your commute to work your exercise by running or riding your bike. If that’s not practical, park as far as you can from work and walk the rest of the way. Commit to using the stairs whenever possible. You may be able to go for a brisk walk over your lunch break. Or when you are waiting for your kids to finish practice. When you find yourself charting in front of the computer for long periods at a time, make an effort to take short breaks, get up and walk around and hydrate. All of these things can add up to great potential benefits.
In addition to working out your body, I’m a big proponent of working out your mind. What I’m talking about is therapy. I think most people can benefit from regular counseling, not just those with active mental illness. Have you ever thought about investing this kind of time into yourself? Time to say out loud all the things that are constantly running through your mind. Give voice to your worries and try to work through them. Having an outside perspective to help us reason through problems at work, in our families or with friends. Therapy can be insanely valuable, and it does not have to be a huge time investment. I’m willing to bet you could carve out an hour a week for this, but it could be every other week or even once a month. And there are more options out there than ever – from in person therapy, to virtual sessions, even online services are available. It is easier than ever to work around your current schedule. I really encourage you to consider this investment in yourself.
Since we’re talking about investing time into ourselves, I’d also like to talk about investing time into others. Wait, don’t we already do this, like all day every day? What I mean, is investing time into our personal relationships with others. Making it a priority to keep strong ties with those that are important to us. On a daily basis, this may include making family dinners a priority. Or setting aside a few minutes each day to unwind with your spouse and your children and find out more about their day. At least once a week, try scheduling time to catch up with a friend or family member over the phone, or better yet in person. Maintaining good relationships and social support in your life is protective against stress, increases motivation, and is protective against heart disease and depression. People with good social networks are better able to persevere during times of crisis and even thrive during acute stressors.
I think it’s also important to set aside a few minutes every day of “me” time. Maybe you wake up 15 minutes earlier every morning to enjoy your cup of coffee in silence and reflect on the day ahead. Maybe this is something you do before bed, or even at work during lunch. I would encourage you to spend this time on a new habit, such as practicing mindfulness or journaling. Practice daily gratitude, where you write down a few things that you are grateful for that particular day. These moments of personal time can really serve as a way to relax and recharge for the day ahead, or reflect on the day that has passed. Practicing daily gratitude can enhance empathy and reduce aggression. It has been shown to increase self-esteem and even improve sleep. This is a great way to make even small moments count.
Please don’t feel like you need to make all these changes at one time. Even doing one thing to increase your self-care can have a big impact on your life. Succeeding in one area will give you the motivation you need to tackle another. And start small. Commit to not using your phone before bed for 1 week, or scheduling 15 minutes of exercise twice a week, or making time for one therapy session. This will help you decide which areas of self-care will be most beneficial to you in the long run. Remember, you are a doctor, not a superhero. You are human and need to take care of yourself as well as I know you take care of your patients and family. This is the only way you will have the stamina and mental ability to do your jobs – as a doctor, mother, friend – to the best of your ability.
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